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How I clinched three Valentine’s Day farm dates

As you prepare to celebrate Valentine’s Day on Monday, I am one man in deep trouble. You see, this past week, I have been receiving ‘strange’ requests from members of our Whatsapp farming group, who want to visit my farm tomorrow.

Interestingly, all the requests have come from ladies. I must add they are irresistibly beautiful.

Rozeean, a beautiful lady from the city, started the whole drama that has snowballed into a crisis. “Mkulima, this weekend, I am planning to spend my Valentine’s Day in Mashambani, on your farm, to learn about strawberry,” she wrote. 

Rozeean has been quite active on the online group only that she has an annoying habit of sending pictures unrelated to farming.

Two weeks ago, she sent pictures showing off her shimmering shoulders and her flowing dark hair. She said she had just spent her weekend at a beach in Mombasa. 

The pictures were inappropriate. I have always insisted as the administrator of the group that the forum is for agriculture matters.

Nevertheless, I found myself resisting the temptation to reprimand her. Actually, for a bachelor like myself, they were not really bad.

A day later, Aisha Bakari, a 22-year-old who describes herself as a farming enthusiast, told me she will come to buy rose flowers from my farm this Sunday, though she knows I don’t grow them.

She then send me a photo of beautiful rose flower placed on a bed. My heart started to beat faster.

I have not spoken to Wandia for some time, but as expected, her call came yesterday evening requesting me to spend some time on my farm on Valentine’s Day. 

MELTS MY HEART

Angela, as she wants to be known, always melts my heart. I could not stop rereading her message that she sent later, “Hi dear, I need to buy some strawberry from ya farm. Will catch u before church on Sunday,” she said.

Aisha followed her message with a phone call when she saw I had not responded. “Xoxo.. You got my message. I forgot to tell you I will be available the entire day. After the flower business, I will want to share with you the afternoon. I really want to learn a lot about farming from you,” she said.

I could not understand why I could not muster the courage to tell her that I am unavailable. I stuttered, smiled sheepishly and foolishly accepted that I will be there for her. The folly of it all.

Later that evening as I was milking my cows, I reflected on how tough my Sunday would be. Images of my farm teeming with the beauties crisscrossed my mind. 

I pictured the girls sitting in the cowshed learning how to milk the cows. None of the girls knew that I had invited the other.

Well, I swore that I was not going to cancel any of the dates. I had to research well, particularly on strawberry, the fruit of love.

I had to gather as much information as possible about the fruit for me to feed it to the three beauties.

One thing was certain to me, however, it was going to be a tough day. I blamed myself for not managing the situation.

What I cannot figure out is what will happen to the farm duties tomorrow with all the women present. Again, later as I was reflecting on the turn of events, I realised that poverty had struck in my wallet as the cooperative had not paid us for the milk deliveries.

But this was a small challenge as Wakageorge could come to my rescue. Another thing that worried me was what the villagers, led by Mzee Jeremiah, would say of me.

I was the talk of the village when the student socialites visited my farm. But there is a silver lining in all this drama, I figured out. Being single, I could get a life partner from any of the girls.

Much better, the girls could make Wandia accept my request for marriage after seeing there is serious competition.